Swords and Stilettos by Kristin D. Van Risseghem

I VOLUNTARILY REVIEWED A COPY FROM THE RACHEL E. CARTER YA BOOK CLUB ON GOODREADS.

Okay.

"Swords & Stilettos"

Where should I even begin?

Let's just start with Zoe.  Who - at least for me - was literally a cookie cutter version of a typical YA protagonist.  Complete with angles, insta-love and a love triangle.  Of course.

But don't take what I'm saying to be a jab at this book.  I enjoyed the characters, no matter how odd they were (YASSSS SHAY AND I LOVE STAR WARS) and I did enjoy the magic and action.  I just couldn't get behind Zoe herself.

Not that she was bad or annoying or anything.  It was just a bit too cliche for me.

So instead, I'm going to pretend that she wasn't and get right into things.

The opening of the story lied to me.  At least, that's how it felt.

She said she was shivering.

It's like summer outside.

And she's wearing a dress.

And I thought they were outside but they were at the coffee shop (???).

The descriptions needed to be more clear about what was going on and where they were.  Honestly, she gets this huge cut on her arm and I don't even remember that happening except that she fell and thinks she broke her arm.

Which threw me for a loop and I had to re-read the entire passage and discovered only the blister on the back of her foot.

Okayyyyyy

Weird.

But that was the pattern for the rest of the book.  I kept reading something and then would be automatically confused as to how that happened.

Then there was the insta-love.  The "zap" of electricity every time they touched.  It kind of made sense why but it didn't and I was left like ummmmmmm..... okay.

But the world was a bit more... odd than usual.

There were angels and demons and nephalim.  And fairies.

And werewolves.

And apparently witches are real too.

And there's this prophecy that she's the Redeemer.

But to be honest when I read the prophecy I was confused by it too.  Like, is she supposed to kill everything or just demons?  I mean, don't get me wrong, it wasn't this confusing for the entire book.  Just like the first 100 pages or so.  So, like, half of it.

I definitely enjoyed the characters, though, even if they were filled with pretty much every cliche possible, and I did like the way the book ended (YOU WILL FIND almost NO SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW!!!) but I wanted her to have some sort of reaction to all of this.  Instead she kind of goes with the flow.

Like I'm sorry, if I just found out my BFF is an angel and never told me I would beat them up.  Or at least yell at them.  Extensively.

But nothing.  She's just like "Oh, okay, let me go home and eat dinner with my family but not really and then let the strange boy who give me fuzzy electric feelings into my room and then take me for a magic carpet (wing) ride"

Do you see where I'm going with that?

Because that's literally how it felt.

Overall, the story might have been cliche but it was super fun and easy to get into, pulling me along for the ride.  The writing wasn't bad at all, just the descriptions needed work.  The world needed more expanding but I understood where we were at all times.  I loved the characters but they were awkward for a large portion of the time or just bizarre.  Like, they were all friends with her because of the prophecy.  So none of them would've been her friends is that hadn't been the case.

As for originality?  I gave that a full star.  It was definitely... something.

(The full breakdown is below)

Well, I have to admit, that was an interesting way to start off my day.

I'm intrigued enough to want to know what happens next and whether Sam, the devil, (sorry, Supernatural ruined that and I couldn't stop laughing that the Devil's name is Sam) will win.  But probably not because it's a typical YA book.

I just would like to know what happens next.

Story: 1/2
Characters: 1/2
World: 1/2
Writing: 1/2
Originality: 1

So many books, so little time!

Today I'm doing something a bit different.  I have NOT been keeping up with these reviews, and that's because I haven't really read a book worth me reviewing.

And for that I apologize.

So instead, I've decided to tell you about the last 6 books that I've read since my last review (book 7 was for our book club and therefore we will be posting a video review of that this weekend, so keep your eyes peeled for it!).

In this way I feel like I can catch you up on some of these books and then actually review the next book that I do read!

Probably.

If it's like really good.

SO!

Let's get this started...

"Monstrous Beauty" by Elizabeth Fama is first on this list.

What should I say about this book?  I really liked it.  Like super liked it.  I gave it 4 stars.

The story is about a girl who realizes she is different.  And when I say different I mean like every woman in her family dies within a few days of giving birth.  For no medical reason.

Elizabeth Fama weaves this story of a girl struggling to figure out who she is and why this happens to her family.  Meanwhile, since the chapters typically stagger - although there is certainly less chapters from her point of view - there is also the story of the mermaid... from the 1800s.  So not only do we have a mermaid story, but in the present we are given a ghost story as well.  A ghostly mystery, if you will.

I enjoyed the story line way too much.  It kept me on my toes constantly, and I couldn't put this book down until it was over.  I Have to say, however, I had to take away half a star for the story as well, and that's because I thought the scene where she is taken into the depths isn't necessary.  I thought that that part of the book got ridiculous and it appeared to be way too easy to leave even though she's not known to let people go.

Like, come on.

But that was like my literal only complaint.  I loved the characters, I loved the writing, the world (both worlds and their parallels) and of course I loved the originality of it all.  The magic, the intrigue, and the fact that she's just so willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that things work out for not only her but the future generations of her family as well.

I loved it.

Okay, so maybe this could've been it's own review, but whatever.

Now, let's see what's behind door number two...

"Dorothy Must Die" by Danielle Paige

Let me start off by saying that, instead of just looking at this book by itself, I actually read all three books that are out in anticipation of the fourth and final book that will be released in March, I'm going to review the series as a whole.

So, why did I read "Dorothy Must Die," "The Wicked Will Rise," and "Yellow Brick War" just in time for the finale??

This series is a retelling of the Wizard of Oz, imagined if Dorothy became a psychopath and murderer.  So we have the story of Amy Gumm who is whisked away in a tornado from Kansas (of course, because, like, how else to you get there?) and is inducted into the Order of the Wicked, a group of Wicked Witches who want Dorothy gone in order to save Oz.

Because what's better than Glinda being a lunatic and totally evil?

And the Wicked being good?

Well, I read through all three books really quick, but there was something that bothered me in the third book.  Something that kind of seriously pissed me off.  And once I picked up on it, I began to notice other weird things about the books.  I gave the first two 4 stars, but the last only got 3.5 stars.

Okay, so in the first book, Amy looks into a picture on Dorothy's wall.  In it she can see whoever it is that she wants, and she chooses her mom.  Which is totally understandable.

However, in the picture, we see her holding a coin in what I assume is an AA meeting with the number "6" on it.  Now, I don't know about other places, but the only coin with the number "6" on it that you get is for six months.  Correct?

Okay.  So then why in the third book when - careful, spoiler!!! - she returns to Kansas has it only been a month?  Her mother was a pill-popping alcoholic right up until the day that she left, as far as we know, which makes that whole scene 100% inaccurate.

And it PISSES ME THE HECK OFF.

Like why?  You were doing SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO well.  And then that careless mistake had me so annoyed.  The other thing about the series is this: the characters kind of fall in love.  For no reason.  She literally doesn't even know a thing about him.  Except what happened in the past.  But that's it.  Like... they don't even spend that much time together except in training.  So then why does she love him?

Is it his hair?  His backstory?  Is it his magic or his fighting style?

Because he's a complete jerk at first and then all of a sudden they're in love.

Okay... but why?

Ugh.

Anyway, the other issues I have with these books is the lack of constant descriptions.  Like, for example, how am I supposed to believe that she's perfectly comfortable fighting in a tiny serving dress when she wasn't comfortable wearing it in general.  Not only that, but it goes unmentioned for the rest of the book and is only mentioned once again about four - five chapters into the second book.  Because she changes out of it.  Not because she's been fighting.  Not because she's been flying by flying monkey and apparently doesn't feel the cold.'

And the characters?  I actually don't know what they look like.  Vague descriptions are given, and with those I have a general idea, but other than that I draw blanks when I imagine them.  They are never actually established.  And that annoys me as well.

Okay.

I think I went on a bit of a rant.

So let's bring this back with book 5...

"Mermaid" by Carolyn Turgeon

A book that pissed me off to no end.  And it pissed me off for several reasons.

1 - in a retelling, you tell the story with a different flare.  You add something new, change something, but no matter what there is something different and new that you bring to the table (i.e. Cinderella is a cyborg in "Cinder" and so on).

I didn't see anything different.

It was a Little Mermaid retelling, and I was soooo excited for it.  For one, I actually enjoy her books.  A few years back I read "Fairest of them All" by her and I fell in love with that story.  But on top of this, not many people tackle that fairy tale.

So I bought it.

And I waited and waited and waited.

And then I read it.

And I threw it across the apartment.

It was literally like Hans Christian Anderson sat there one day and was like "Oh, I'm thinking of rewriting this story, but making it into a love story with warring kingdoms - that really make no difference to the story except to add drama - and instead of her dying in the end (AGAIN, SPOILER) she will live.  But not with the guy who she loves.  Just, like, going back into the ocean."

Okay...

But the characters annoyed me, there was insta love all around, the story bored me to tears and the world seemed flatter than a crepe.  She actually tells us in a scene where Lenia is singing that if you didn't live in their world you couldn't imagine the types of sea creatures that show up.

Like what??

I don't have the exact quote here in front of me, but I was like wait, so you're taking the easy way out and just telling us that we couldn't even imagine it?  I don't know about you, but I have more imagination at my expense than I should and I can picture a hell of a lot.

Like, don't insult me.

The one truly redeeming quality of this book was the actual writing.  With the exception of that scene, the writing is beautiful and elegant and hypnotizing all at once.  I love her style of writing.  I do.

Which was way, unfortunately I had to give this book 2.5 stars.  My lowest rating in a very, very, VERY long time.

Finally, this is a book that I read yesterday, and before that.  A few years back, actually, before the series was picked up by Harper.

"Queen of Hearts" by Colleen Oakes

Okay.  I love this book.

I loved it the first time I read it, and I loved it the second time.  Which was better, actually, especially with the slight changes she made to it.

I enjoyed the story of Dinah, the Princess of Hearts, and her evil, nasty father.  I liked the fact that, even though she was in love with someone it didn't matter because it wasn't too relevant in the story.  I super enjoyed this twisted version of Wonderland with its Black Towers full of torture and the parallels to the original story (they do play croquet, but the balls are just balls, but they look like hedgehogs, and the mallets are wood carved into flamingos, for the bird of Wonderland).

The world was well written out, I just wish I had a map.

The reason this book doesn't get five stars - it's actually 4.5 stars - is because of the character of Dinah.  She is just soooo whiney.

Like shut up and stand up for yourself you blubbering girl.

You would think that after years and years of her father's abuse and the nasty whispered words behind her back that she'd have grown a backbone.

But nope.

And that pissed me off.

But luckily the book was fabulous besides that.

I mean, who wouldn't love pink snow?

Well, this was my quick, catch-up version of my reviews.

I hope to see you all next time!

Ta-ta for now!

Scarlet by A.C. Gaughen

Scarlet.

A retelling of Robin Hood.

Sounds awesome right?

Hmmmm...

It wasn't bad, so I won't say that it was, but there were things that did annoy me.

Let's just skip my normal small summary and go straight into the spoilers for this, so if you don't any please please please go away and read that book and judge for yourself.

Okay.

So.

In general, I enjoyed the story of the book.  You follow a young girl named Scarlet who is the Will Scarlet of Robin Hood's merry men, and yes, she's a GIRL.

So she's in hiding.

Of course.

And there is a (slight) love triangle between her and John Little (AKA Little John) and Robin Hood himself.  Which made me soooooo angry because I'm like "no, I cannot accept that."

It's okay because the big secret of the book - which I figured out wayyyyyyyy before they dropped the ball on it - is that Scarlet is actually Marion in hiding.

However, the writing threw me off.  Her language is just so... meh.  Like, she talks in an uneducated way, and also thinks like that.  So it pissed me off.  I was ready to put the book down, and then they explained why and I was able to accept that reason.  So that fixed that problem.

But my major problem was in the interactions between John and Scarlet and Robin.  They were so frustrating.  "Be with him."  "Are you in love with him?"  "I ain't with anyone."  "Kiss me."  "No."  BLAH BLAH BLAH

But then the last third of the book was like BAM all in your face and dragging me in until I was finished with it.  And of course I want more.

Why?

It was actually really well thought out.  The world was well written, and in the department of originality, the idea that Scarlet was actually Marion was kind of awesome.  I treated this more as an origins story rather than a retelling, but I think that either way it would work.

Truly, this book was interesting.

I very rarely see Robin Hood retellings, and when I do it's usually the same old story except maybe Little John wasn't so little, or the Sheriff was something or this was that.  But NEVER had I seen Marion as a disguised thief.  That was clever and amazing and I couldn't help myself but feel drawn to her character.

She cussed almost as much as I used to when I was eighteen - which was how old she is in this book.  I loved it.

Unfortunately, I can only give this one a 3.5 star rating, but I was told the sequels get better and I can't wait for it to come in!

Well, this was short and to the point, but that's only because I honestly find myself drawn to the idea of watching one of my favorite Robin Hood movies now - "Robin Hood Men in Tights."  A classic, I know.

So please join me for my next read: "Monstrous Beauty" by Elizabeth Fama.

Until next time!

Alice in Zombieland by Gena Showalter

As a kid, "Alice in Wonderland" was one of my favorites.  The ides of diving down the rabbit hole and coming out the other side into a world of backwards rules and impossible imaginings was so great that I would dream of my own adventure.

So of course when I saw "Alice in Zombieland" I couldn't resist.

And I'm so happy that I didn't.

There was a rabbit hole, although it was more metaphorical than anything, and I dove down and into it.

For beginners, I'd like to start off with something spoiler-free: this book was one of the most hysterical horror-comedies I have ever read.  I couldn't stop laughing, actually spit out water and tea from bursting into hysterics (I had to stop myself reading whenever I wanted to drink something because I was afraid to spit it onto myself... again), and in the end I was trying to piece everything together alongside Ali (a.k.a. Alice Bell).

Altogether I gave this book 4.5 stars.

That's right.

And THAT surprised me, too.

Now we're heading into the spoiler section...

... which means you either have read it and are willingly following me down the rabbit hole (see what I did there?) or you haven't because you don't think it's worth it.  And that's fine.

You're wrong, but it's fine.

The story flowed very easily through this novel.  You have the protagonist go through something traumatizing and come out on the other side, you have her spiritual eye open - if you will - and have her life turned completely upside down as her whole family dies.  And then attacked by zombies.

But they aren't normal zombies.

This is why I have to give Gena Showalter credit: she took a classic monster and CHANGED IT COMPLETELY.  They are actually spirits infected by evil, feasting on a person's spirit (rather than flesh), and in order to fight them the slayer MUST be in the spirit realm as well.

So on top of the crazy spirit-eating zombies you have the slayers who are able to leave their bodies in order to fight them in the spiritual realm.  Which was SO FREAKING COOL.

The characters were definitely unique, in that Kat was insane and amazing, Ali was hysterical and sarcastic as hell, Cole was broody with a reason and then lovable, her grandparents were ridiculous, and so on and so on...

I'm not running through the entire character list.

BUT!

Between the unique cast and this incredible hidden world on top of ours, just in spiritual form, made this book a gem in and of itself.  I enjoyed the way that it was written, the way that the story flowed, and the originality was off the charts for me.  This was definitely a zombie story I will never forget, nor is it an "Alice in Wonderland" retelling that will be forgotten.

I had one major issue, but in the grand scheme of things it pales in comparison to how I felt about the book.  One characters - Reeve - dropped out of the book.  No explanations, no mention except about her father, just... gone.

Which didn't change the story, but I felt like it was something that should have been addressed.

Whatever.

It was awesome.

And Ali's snark was perfect and necessary for keeping it feeling like the Walking Dead (I mean come on, lighten up guys).  The humor kept me flipping the pages and never once did the story feel as if it were becoming stale.

It was fun, it was fresh, and I craved more.

And so I caved and bought the other three books.

I know.

I can't wait to read them.

This rabbit hole just keeps on going deeper.  I just know it.

So overall, I had to take a half star away for the lack of explanation as to what happened to Reeve.  I know it wasn't that big of a deal, but it was still an issue and therefore I cannot ignore it.

So... yeah.

That's about it.

The book deserves its 4.5 stars.

I LOVED it.

So I hope you'll join me with my next read - which will be "Scarlet" by A.C. Gaughen - a Robin Hood retelling.  It should be a fun read.

Until next time!

Stung by Bethany Wiggins

Hmmmmmmmmmmm.

What can I say?  I LOVE retellings.  And this is (one of) the month(s) for them.

Although it was marketed as a Sleeping Beauty retelling, I believe this was more of a mash-up of Sleeping Beauty and Beauty and the Beast.

And I believe this for multiple reasons.

All of them will be explained.

However, this book was amazeballs for another reason: it was absolutely unique in the way that it was presented.

So yes, I ended up giving this book a high rating.

And yes, I just used the word "amazeballs."

Anyway...

Okay, so this is where I'm about to go into some spoilers and I suggest reading this, especially if you like sci-fi/dystopian novels with a level of truth to them.

Did you leave?

Are you coming back?

I don't know if you did but I'll trust you.

So let's get started!!

This is the story of Fiona.

And she's a very interesting character.

For one, she's a thirteen-year-old trapped in a seventeen-year-old body.

That's right.

The book starts out in this post-apocalyptic world in which the bees are extinct (which is an actual issue we're facing today).  With bees extinct there are no plants, no animals.  Nothing.  So she wakes up remembering her thirteenth birthday party, but now she's older with a new body.  Well, not NEW new, but like it's grown.

And she's like wth.

And I'm just like okay... what now?  She walks out of her room, noticing a tattoo on her hand with ten lines coming out of an oval, and then she heard someone coming up the stairs.  And it's her brother.

And he's turned into a creature.  Sort of.

So the story continues and we meet Dreyden Bowen, her neighbor from across the street during the time before, and we learn that a woman needs to pretend to be a boy in order to protect herself from the men in the world.

Because there are the militia, and then there are the raiders.  And they're both outside of the wall.

Oh yeah: the entire population of healthy, useful people are inside of the walls repopulating.

So he remembers her and off they go as he tries to protect her.  And they fall in love.  Oh joy.

But the parts that I found interesting wasn't just their interactions (she sometimes sounds like a kid because that's what she was when she went into a medically induced coma), but the back story for how things happened and how they revealed it.  Through flashbacks that Fiona has.

We learn that, apparently, the bees were dying out so the government stepped in and created genetically enhanced bees.  But their venom was toxic to humans.  And it spread the bee flu.  Now the bee flu would cause someone to go insane and then die after attacking like all of their systems.

So they created an antivenom.  But the antivenom started changing people.  It made them into super muscular, angry, feral people who no longer look like people because they're twisted with sinewy muscles and rage.  I wasn't sure if their faces looked wolfish or not, but I didn't need to know that.  Because let's be real, some feral dude with bulging muscles is coming at me I'm not looking at his face.  I'm running.

And so we learn that the countries elite (she was a child musical prodigy) was given the ten doses (hence the ten little lines on her tattoo) and now theyre going insane.  And so they begin putting people into medically induced comas.

She goes on this crazy adventure only to learn that she's been cured and that she is the first one to survive - because someone is killing the survivors.  And - surprise surprise - it's the governor who runs that walled city.  Because dude doesn't want to give up power.  ::insert dramatic eye-roll here::

So what was unique?  The world and how it came to be.  People have to pollinate their own crops to keep on living, (that's right, because in order to kill all the bees the government - once again useless - drops this pesticide to kill them.  but it also killed ALL other plants and animals and whatnot) and there are these weird wafers that are basically a full meal with tranquilizers in them and this weird bubble coagulant that will spread into the wound and stop the bleeding.

I enjoyed reading about the tech and the history of the world which was thoroughly explained.  But mostly, I LOVED the characters.  Each one is unique and brings something different to the table.  And I couldn't predict how they would act.  

At all.

Not only that, but the writing was beautiful.  I was hooked so badly to this book that I couldn't sleep last night because I wanted to just keep reading.

And rarely does a book make me do that.

So overall, it was perfect on paper - well, according to my ratings chart.  Which makes this a (rare) 5 stars.  I know, I couldn't believe it either!

SO.  This concludes my review of "Stung" by Bethany Wiggins.  I hope you'll join me in reading "Alice in Zombieland" by Gena Showalter.

Ta-ta for now!

Isle by Jes Dory

*** I received a copy of this book from the author in exchange for an honest review.


Okay.  Whew!

I felt like it took me so long to read this, but in reality I just kept getting up to eat.

::Hides face in embarrassment while stuffing mouth with Mac n Cheese::

So.  Isle.  Where do I begin?

Ah.  How about THIS WAS A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SIREN BOOK THAN ANY I'VE READ BEFORE. (AND HOW GORGEOUS THIS COVER IS!!)

Don't believe me?

Okay, normal traits in a YA Siren book: she (because let's face it, it generally is a "she") can turn into a mermaid, usually starts sprouting scales for no reason, finds a group of mermaids, has a crazy voice that lures people, can turn into a monstrous bird.  Sometimes.

Okay, traits in Isle: no mermaids at all but instead super powered part demonic creatures that have bird familiars, THE FREAKING LAMIA, did I mention freaky demons?  Oh, and we can't forget VENOMOUS DEMONIC CREATURES THAT HAVE SUPER HUMAN STRENGTH.  And shapeshifters.

Aren't hooked yet?

Here's where I'll get into some crazy spoilers, so go read it now and come back.

Or don't.

That's totally your loss.

But my overall rating is a solid 4 stars.

And here's why:

The story follows the typical YA structure of they need to do something to get the main character to the place and then the discovering of powers that she's had all her life and (surprise surprise) she's not really human.

Okay.

But!  As soon as they started going into the mythology of the world, (I was like "Oh no, another book about sirens" as soon as they said Sirena) I was hooked.  I do my research and write about creatures of myth, and one that I haven't heard of in a YA book yet was the Lamia.  So imagine my surprise when I read "Queen Lamia..." and I was like oh boy this is going to get great.

And it did.

My issues don't like with the story: I think it was definitely unique and interesting with a world that comes together and falls into place.

My issues was the main character.

I actually couldn't stand her.  Until the scene where Alexo is killed in front of her.  Because once Aston goes into hiding and her inner demon begins consuming her like a FREAKING POSSESSED person, literally, I was like oh man this is going to get crazy.  And it did.

So, unfortunately, I had to take a half star away because the main character was SO WHINEY in the beginning.  And, up until that scene where she's going bananas in her own head, her random outbursts of emotion made no sense to me.  I don't think it was emphasized enough that she had been told not to show emotions her whole like.  Like it was mentioned as an afterthought.

My other issues goes hand-in-hand with that one, which is the writing for the dialogue from Eben.  I feel like his dialogue was forced and I couldn't stand it when he was there.  I was like ew dude, that's your cousin.  Stop oggling her and calling her "girlie."  However, he did come in the clutch in the end so I can't say he was useless.  I just have to deduct a star because his dialogue felt a bit forced.

Placing those two issues to the side, my favorite characters were Aston, the love interest, and Yael.  Aston was like this trickster romantic, if that makes any sense, and I thought he was the best written character in the book.

Yael just makes me want to hold her and tell her everything will be okay.

She's just so freaking precious.

I love her.

And the Elder?  They made me so angry I started praying that Nora would kill them.  I hope she does in the sequel.  Which I will TOTALLY buy.

My biggest like for this book was the way the water played such an important role for them.  Between the islands, the seals, the salt water as a cure, I thought it was a clever distraction.  It kept me thinking that she might sprout a tail.

But no.  SHE TURNS INTO A FREAKING WOLF.  A BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOLF WHO NEEDS HUGS AND LOVES AND UGHHHHHH.

Overall, I truly enjoyed this read.  However, because of my dislike of Nora in the beginning it was hard for me to want to continue.  The only thing in the first half of the book that kept me reading was the world (and Aston and Yael).

But I totally do recommend this read to anyone who enjoys a fresh take on a myth that seems over done toady.

4 stars to this gem.