So many books, so little time!

Today I'm doing something a bit different.  I have NOT been keeping up with these reviews, and that's because I haven't really read a book worth me reviewing.

And for that I apologize.

So instead, I've decided to tell you about the last 6 books that I've read since my last review (book 7 was for our book club and therefore we will be posting a video review of that this weekend, so keep your eyes peeled for it!).

In this way I feel like I can catch you up on some of these books and then actually review the next book that I do read!

Probably.

If it's like really good.

SO!

Let's get this started...

"Monstrous Beauty" by Elizabeth Fama is first on this list.

What should I say about this book?  I really liked it.  Like super liked it.  I gave it 4 stars.

The story is about a girl who realizes she is different.  And when I say different I mean like every woman in her family dies within a few days of giving birth.  For no medical reason.

Elizabeth Fama weaves this story of a girl struggling to figure out who she is and why this happens to her family.  Meanwhile, since the chapters typically stagger - although there is certainly less chapters from her point of view - there is also the story of the mermaid... from the 1800s.  So not only do we have a mermaid story, but in the present we are given a ghost story as well.  A ghostly mystery, if you will.

I enjoyed the story line way too much.  It kept me on my toes constantly, and I couldn't put this book down until it was over.  I Have to say, however, I had to take away half a star for the story as well, and that's because I thought the scene where she is taken into the depths isn't necessary.  I thought that that part of the book got ridiculous and it appeared to be way too easy to leave even though she's not known to let people go.

Like, come on.

But that was like my literal only complaint.  I loved the characters, I loved the writing, the world (both worlds and their parallels) and of course I loved the originality of it all.  The magic, the intrigue, and the fact that she's just so willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that things work out for not only her but the future generations of her family as well.

I loved it.

Okay, so maybe this could've been it's own review, but whatever.

Now, let's see what's behind door number two...

"Dorothy Must Die" by Danielle Paige

Let me start off by saying that, instead of just looking at this book by itself, I actually read all three books that are out in anticipation of the fourth and final book that will be released in March, I'm going to review the series as a whole.

So, why did I read "Dorothy Must Die," "The Wicked Will Rise," and "Yellow Brick War" just in time for the finale??

This series is a retelling of the Wizard of Oz, imagined if Dorothy became a psychopath and murderer.  So we have the story of Amy Gumm who is whisked away in a tornado from Kansas (of course, because, like, how else to you get there?) and is inducted into the Order of the Wicked, a group of Wicked Witches who want Dorothy gone in order to save Oz.

Because what's better than Glinda being a lunatic and totally evil?

And the Wicked being good?

Well, I read through all three books really quick, but there was something that bothered me in the third book.  Something that kind of seriously pissed me off.  And once I picked up on it, I began to notice other weird things about the books.  I gave the first two 4 stars, but the last only got 3.5 stars.

Okay, so in the first book, Amy looks into a picture on Dorothy's wall.  In it she can see whoever it is that she wants, and she chooses her mom.  Which is totally understandable.

However, in the picture, we see her holding a coin in what I assume is an AA meeting with the number "6" on it.  Now, I don't know about other places, but the only coin with the number "6" on it that you get is for six months.  Correct?

Okay.  So then why in the third book when - careful, spoiler!!! - she returns to Kansas has it only been a month?  Her mother was a pill-popping alcoholic right up until the day that she left, as far as we know, which makes that whole scene 100% inaccurate.

And it PISSES ME THE HECK OFF.

Like why?  You were doing SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO well.  And then that careless mistake had me so annoyed.  The other thing about the series is this: the characters kind of fall in love.  For no reason.  She literally doesn't even know a thing about him.  Except what happened in the past.  But that's it.  Like... they don't even spend that much time together except in training.  So then why does she love him?

Is it his hair?  His backstory?  Is it his magic or his fighting style?

Because he's a complete jerk at first and then all of a sudden they're in love.

Okay... but why?

Ugh.

Anyway, the other issues I have with these books is the lack of constant descriptions.  Like, for example, how am I supposed to believe that she's perfectly comfortable fighting in a tiny serving dress when she wasn't comfortable wearing it in general.  Not only that, but it goes unmentioned for the rest of the book and is only mentioned once again about four - five chapters into the second book.  Because she changes out of it.  Not because she's been fighting.  Not because she's been flying by flying monkey and apparently doesn't feel the cold.'

And the characters?  I actually don't know what they look like.  Vague descriptions are given, and with those I have a general idea, but other than that I draw blanks when I imagine them.  They are never actually established.  And that annoys me as well.

Okay.

I think I went on a bit of a rant.

So let's bring this back with book 5...

"Mermaid" by Carolyn Turgeon

A book that pissed me off to no end.  And it pissed me off for several reasons.

1 - in a retelling, you tell the story with a different flare.  You add something new, change something, but no matter what there is something different and new that you bring to the table (i.e. Cinderella is a cyborg in "Cinder" and so on).

I didn't see anything different.

It was a Little Mermaid retelling, and I was soooo excited for it.  For one, I actually enjoy her books.  A few years back I read "Fairest of them All" by her and I fell in love with that story.  But on top of this, not many people tackle that fairy tale.

So I bought it.

And I waited and waited and waited.

And then I read it.

And I threw it across the apartment.

It was literally like Hans Christian Anderson sat there one day and was like "Oh, I'm thinking of rewriting this story, but making it into a love story with warring kingdoms - that really make no difference to the story except to add drama - and instead of her dying in the end (AGAIN, SPOILER) she will live.  But not with the guy who she loves.  Just, like, going back into the ocean."

Okay...

But the characters annoyed me, there was insta love all around, the story bored me to tears and the world seemed flatter than a crepe.  She actually tells us in a scene where Lenia is singing that if you didn't live in their world you couldn't imagine the types of sea creatures that show up.

Like what??

I don't have the exact quote here in front of me, but I was like wait, so you're taking the easy way out and just telling us that we couldn't even imagine it?  I don't know about you, but I have more imagination at my expense than I should and I can picture a hell of a lot.

Like, don't insult me.

The one truly redeeming quality of this book was the actual writing.  With the exception of that scene, the writing is beautiful and elegant and hypnotizing all at once.  I love her style of writing.  I do.

Which was way, unfortunately I had to give this book 2.5 stars.  My lowest rating in a very, very, VERY long time.

Finally, this is a book that I read yesterday, and before that.  A few years back, actually, before the series was picked up by Harper.

"Queen of Hearts" by Colleen Oakes

Okay.  I love this book.

I loved it the first time I read it, and I loved it the second time.  Which was better, actually, especially with the slight changes she made to it.

I enjoyed the story of Dinah, the Princess of Hearts, and her evil, nasty father.  I liked the fact that, even though she was in love with someone it didn't matter because it wasn't too relevant in the story.  I super enjoyed this twisted version of Wonderland with its Black Towers full of torture and the parallels to the original story (they do play croquet, but the balls are just balls, but they look like hedgehogs, and the mallets are wood carved into flamingos, for the bird of Wonderland).

The world was well written out, I just wish I had a map.

The reason this book doesn't get five stars - it's actually 4.5 stars - is because of the character of Dinah.  She is just soooo whiney.

Like shut up and stand up for yourself you blubbering girl.

You would think that after years and years of her father's abuse and the nasty whispered words behind her back that she'd have grown a backbone.

But nope.

And that pissed me off.

But luckily the book was fabulous besides that.

I mean, who wouldn't love pink snow?

Well, this was my quick, catch-up version of my reviews.

I hope to see you all next time!

Ta-ta for now!

"Empire of Storms" by Sarah J Maas

Okay, so I may have fibbed a bit at the end of my last post.  I apologize and swear that the next time I veer off course and read/review another I will prominently tell all of you first.

Now that that's out of the way, I did start "Scythe" and I enjoyed what I've read of it so far.  Not enough to give you the whole rundown, but enough to tell you all that I will get to it.  Soon.  Just not the next book.  Or the one after that.  But soon.

Scout's honor.

However, I finally got the chance to read "Empire of Storms" which is the fifth book in the "Throne of Glass" series.

For everyone who hasn't read them yet let me just say this: you are missing out on one of the greatest pieces of fantasy literature of our time.  GO AND READ IT.

Like I know I say that about a bunch of books, but this one is not one that you can just dismiss.  It needs to be read.  And I'll summarize why: the character grows, she makes mistakes, she falls into and out of love throughout the series, and she is very, very human.  It needs to be read by all.

Whew.

That's done.

I feel like a messenger.

However, I cannot divulge into the book without some serious spoilers, and so instead I will make this a very, extremely quick review in which absolutely NO SPOILERS will be revealed.

That's right.

Because it is that worth it.

Story: Sarah J Maas has yet to disappoint me with an intriguing, mystery puzzle box of a story that just keeps unfolding until the very last word.  I have never been more impressed by writing, especially with the plot being as layered as it is.  I loved it.  Every.  Single.  Second.  And then I cried for chapters and scenes throughout the entire book.

Which I read in about two days.

I couldn't put it down.  Literally.

Characters: Her characters are certainly fleshed out, flawed and utterly human, with distinct traits that she never forgets to add to make sure each and every one of them have their own flair.  I didn't even mind the switching of perspectives because they all felt so utterly unique.

World: Perfection incarnate.  I was easily able to follow the course of this story, and I never felt lost.  Except when they did in one of the scenes.  Which I totally understand.

I love this world so much I'd die to live in it.  With the exception of certain characters.  Let's just say that.

(For all who know, yes, I mean that horrible nasty vile creature of a... oh.  Hang on.  Need to find my center.)

Originality: Her stories captivated me because  of their originality.  I love how she weaves this tapestry on a story into a masterpiece that has no equal in our time.

(I will gladly take on the Game of Thrones fans who are seething right now.  Come at me.  And we can discuss this like civilized people.  Sort of.)

Everything is wonderful.  Everything is (eventually) explained.  Everything.

And it was all her.

All of it.

She's perfection.

And honestly I might die after reading the next and final book.  Just saying.

Writing: Again, it was beautiful.  Absolutely wonderfully written from beginning to finish.  I was hooked from the first line until the tear-stained final pages.  I literally devoured this book.

All in all this book DESERVES its 5 Stars that I am giving it.  It is unworthy of anything less than that.

For a book to grab my heart and force me to scream on behalf of a character... let's just say that it rarely happens.

I loved it.

100000000000000000%

Now, onto the next order of business.

The next book I am reading is actually going to be "Isle" by Jes Dory.  I will keep you all posted.



PS - I would like to take a moment to say that this week has been rough.  I couldn't read for several days after I had heard the news, and am lucky enough to have received her book.  Which I will read as soon as I receive my second copy - I refuse to open the one I have because I was given it minutes before it had happened (not by her, obviously).

May the force be with Carrie Fisher, her mother who has also passed on, and her family as they make it through these hard times.  Rest in peace, you two beautiful women.  And know that the world will forever be dimmed without your light.

"The King Slayer" by Virginia Boecker

“I think, in time, you’ll either be my greatest mistake or my greatest victory.”

Former witch hunter Elizabeth Grey is hiding within the magically protected village of Harrow, evading the price put on her head by Lord Blackwell, the usurper king of Anglia. Their last encounter left Blackwell ruined, but his thirst for power grows stronger every day. He’s readying for a war against those who would resist his rule—namely Elizabeth and the witches and wizards she now calls her allies.

Having lost her stigma, a magical source of protection and healing, Elizabeth’s strength is tested both physically and emotionally. War always means sacrifice, and as the lines between good and evil blur once more, Elizabeth must decide just how far she’ll go to save those she loves.

This is the sequel to "The Witch Hunter," so if you haven't read that one, I suggest not reading this review.  SPOILERS WILL BE ABOUND!!  Like seriously.  Go and read the first book.  

In fact, I had the pleasure of meeting this lovely woman FOUR DAYS BEFORE THE RELEASE OF THE FIRST BOOK at the wonderful Books of Wonder (18 West 18th Street in NYC for those who want to know... like go and support them.  They are absolutely fabulous) and you know what she did?  She released it FOUR DAYS EARLY TO SIGN IT FOR US.  It was magical.

And I devoured the first book.  The second book...?

Well.

Although I did devour it, I feel like it wasn't as good as the first.

I feel that way about a lot of things actually.

But this is a bit different.  Because it had nothing to do with story line and EVERYTHING to do with character.

(Honestly this will be a short review, considering that it is a sequel and everything I had to say about this series is in my review of the first book, which I'm sure is up on Goodreads somewhere.  Actually it is not.  I guess I didn't have much to say about it.)

This book is a low 4 Stars.

There.

That's all you get.

The reason why?

There's not much I can say without spoiling ANYTHING.

So read the blurb above and know my rating and then, after reading it and thinking about it yourself, you can come back and read the rest of this review.

______________________________________________________________________

Okay.  The reason this review is short is because, like I stated above, there isn't much for me to gripe about except for character development.

Yup.

That's about it.

So what was it about the characters that I didn't like?

1 - Elizabeth was just SO WHINY.  That's right, I said it.  The strong witch hunter of the first book just goes bleh.  Like one minute she's beating people up, she loses her stigma and then BAM.  All of her badass qualities go along with it.  Even the final battle at the end is kind of flat because I had expected her to act that way since the beginning.  Like come on already!

Ugh.

2 - John REALLY pissed me off.  Like SUPER pissed me off.  Like jump-off-a-bridge-and-kill-yourself pissed me off.  (Don't do that though, because we need you.)  I was so annoyed with him by the end that even HE didn't redeem himself.

3 - Fifer and Schulyer were so much more assertive in the first book and they kind of fell flat in this one.  They ended up being wall characters, where they are there but not important.  Schulyer had ONE MAJOR SCENE.  THAT WAS IT.  Like WTH?!  And Fifer I felt like wasn't important at all!

That's my only problem, honestly.

I enjoyed the plot, because, well, Blackwell NEEDED to just go away already.  I hated that dude.  And I guess I felt bad for Malcolm.  A little.

The writing was gorgeous like it was in the first book, with a world that was definitely unique.  Although I still don't understand how magic works in this book and who's got it, it's okay because I accepted it.  It worked for the people who actually had it.

I also thought that the way it progressed made sense, although I REALLY  wanted to slap Elizabeth across the face to wake her up from her pining and self-pity.

Throughout the entire book.

But whatever.

I enjoyed this ending to this series, a duology.  I want another book, just to see what happens next, but it's okay.  I enjoyed where it ended.

BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO CHIME???  That little witch.  Maybe she fell into the river and went away.  Hopefully.

Anyway, that's about it.

Told you it would be short.

I just can't think of anything else to say.

Like I said, a low four stars for this book.  I can't exactly rate it like I would other books properly, because if this was a stand-alone it would've gotten three and a half stars, but since the first book was worth the five stars I gave it, I have to bring this down a star.

My next read is "The Young Elites" by Marie Lu.  I loved her other series that had begun with "Legend" and can't wait to read this one.  I can't wait to see you then for that review!!