Thursday, January 19, 2017

So many books, so little time!

Today I'm doing something a bit different.  I have NOT been keeping up with these reviews, and that's because I haven't really read a book worth me reviewing.

And for that I apologize.

So instead, I've decided to tell you about the last 6 books that I've read since my last review (book 7 was for our book club and therefore we will be posting a video review of that this weekend, so keep your eyes peeled for it!).

In this way I feel like I can catch you up on some of these books and then actually review the next book that I do read!

Probably.

If it's like really good.

SO!

Let's get this started...

"Monstrous Beauty" by Elizabeth Fama is first on this list.

What should I say about this book?  I really liked it.  Like super liked it.  I gave it 4 stars.

The story is about a girl who realizes she is different.  And when I say different I mean like every woman in her family dies within a few days of giving birth.  For no medical reason.

Elizabeth Fama weaves this story of a girl struggling to figure out who she is and why this happens to her family.  Meanwhile, since the chapters typically stagger - although there is certainly less chapters from her point of view - there is also the story of the mermaid... from the 1800s.  So not only do we have a mermaid story, but in the present we are given a ghost story as well.  A ghostly mystery, if you will.

I enjoyed the story line way too much.  It kept me on my toes constantly, and I couldn't put this book down until it was over.  I Have to say, however, I had to take away half a star for the story as well, and that's because I thought the scene where she is taken into the depths isn't necessary.  I thought that that part of the book got ridiculous and it appeared to be way too easy to leave even though she's not known to let people go.

Like, come on.

But that was like my literal only complaint.  I loved the characters, I loved the writing, the world (both worlds and their parallels) and of course I loved the originality of it all.  The magic, the intrigue, and the fact that she's just so willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that things work out for not only her but the future generations of her family as well.

I loved it.

Okay, so maybe this could've been it's own review, but whatever.

Now, let's see what's behind door number two...

"Dorothy Must Die" by Danielle Paige

Let me start off by saying that, instead of just looking at this book by itself, I actually read all three books that are out in anticipation of the fourth and final book that will be released in March, I'm going to review the series as a whole.

So, why did I read "Dorothy Must Die," "The Wicked Will Rise," and "Yellow Brick War" just in time for the finale??

This series is a retelling of the Wizard of Oz, imagined if Dorothy became a psychopath and murderer.  So we have the story of Amy Gumm who is whisked away in a tornado from Kansas (of course, because, like, how else to you get there?) and is inducted into the Order of the Wicked, a group of Wicked Witches who want Dorothy gone in order to save Oz.

Because what's better than Glinda being a lunatic and totally evil?

And the Wicked being good?

Well, I read through all three books really quick, but there was something that bothered me in the third book.  Something that kind of seriously pissed me off.  And once I picked up on it, I began to notice other weird things about the books.  I gave the first two 4 stars, but the last only got 3.5 stars.

Okay, so in the first book, Amy looks into a picture on Dorothy's wall.  In it she can see whoever it is that she wants, and she chooses her mom.  Which is totally understandable.

However, in the picture, we see her holding a coin in what I assume is an AA meeting with the number "6" on it.  Now, I don't know about other places, but the only coin with the number "6" on it that you get is for six months.  Correct?

Okay.  So then why in the third book when - careful, spoiler!!! - she returns to Kansas has it only been a month?  Her mother was a pill-popping alcoholic right up until the day that she left, as far as we know, which makes that whole scene 100% inaccurate.

And it PISSES ME THE HECK OFF.

Like why?  You were doing SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO well.  And then that careless mistake had me so annoyed.  The other thing about the series is this: the characters kind of fall in love.  For no reason.  She literally doesn't even know a thing about him.  Except what happened in the past.  But that's it.  Like... they don't even spend that much time together except in training.  So then why does she love him?

Is it his hair?  His backstory?  Is it his magic or his fighting style?

Because he's a complete jerk at first and then all of a sudden they're in love.

Okay... but why?

Ugh.

Anyway, the other issues I have with these books is the lack of constant descriptions.  Like, for example, how am I supposed to believe that she's perfectly comfortable fighting in a tiny serving dress when she wasn't comfortable wearing it in general.  Not only that, but it goes unmentioned for the rest of the book and is only mentioned once again about four - five chapters into the second book.  Because she changes out of it.  Not because she's been fighting.  Not because she's been flying by flying monkey and apparently doesn't feel the cold.'

And the characters?  I actually don't know what they look like.  Vague descriptions are given, and with those I have a general idea, but other than that I draw blanks when I imagine them.  They are never actually established.  And that annoys me as well.

Okay.

I think I went on a bit of a rant.

So let's bring this back with book 5...

"Mermaid" by Carolyn Turgeon

A book that pissed me off to no end.  And it pissed me off for several reasons.

1 - in a retelling, you tell the story with a different flare.  You add something new, change something, but no matter what there is something different and new that you bring to the table (i.e. Cinderella is a cyborg in "Cinder" and so on).

I didn't see anything different.

It was a Little Mermaid retelling, and I was soooo excited for it.  For one, I actually enjoy her books.  A few years back I read "Fairest of them All" by her and I fell in love with that story.  But on top of this, not many people tackle that fairy tale.

So I bought it.

And I waited and waited and waited.

And then I read it.

And I threw it across the apartment.

It was literally like Hans Christian Anderson sat there one day and was like "Oh, I'm thinking of rewriting this story, but making it into a love story with warring kingdoms - that really make no difference to the story except to add drama - and instead of her dying in the end (AGAIN, SPOILER) she will live.  But not with the guy who she loves.  Just, like, going back into the ocean."

Okay...

But the characters annoyed me, there was insta love all around, the story bored me to tears and the world seemed flatter than a crepe.  She actually tells us in a scene where Lenia is singing that if you didn't live in their world you couldn't imagine the types of sea creatures that show up.

Like what??

I don't have the exact quote here in front of me, but I was like wait, so you're taking the easy way out and just telling us that we couldn't even imagine it?  I don't know about you, but I have more imagination at my expense than I should and I can picture a hell of a lot.

Like, don't insult me.

The one truly redeeming quality of this book was the actual writing.  With the exception of that scene, the writing is beautiful and elegant and hypnotizing all at once.  I love her style of writing.  I do.

Which was way, unfortunately I had to give this book 2.5 stars.  My lowest rating in a very, very, VERY long time.

Finally, this is a book that I read yesterday, and before that.  A few years back, actually, before the series was picked up by Harper.

"Queen of Hearts" by Colleen Oakes

Okay.  I love this book.

I loved it the first time I read it, and I loved it the second time.  Which was better, actually, especially with the slight changes she made to it.

I enjoyed the story of Dinah, the Princess of Hearts, and her evil, nasty father.  I liked the fact that, even though she was in love with someone it didn't matter because it wasn't too relevant in the story.  I super enjoyed this twisted version of Wonderland with its Black Towers full of torture and the parallels to the original story (they do play croquet, but the balls are just balls, but they look like hedgehogs, and the mallets are wood carved into flamingos, for the bird of Wonderland).

The world was well written out, I just wish I had a map.

The reason this book doesn't get five stars - it's actually 4.5 stars - is because of the character of Dinah.  She is just soooo whiney.

Like shut up and stand up for yourself you blubbering girl.

You would think that after years and years of her father's abuse and the nasty whispered words behind her back that she'd have grown a backbone.

But nope.

And that pissed me off.

But luckily the book was fabulous besides that.

I mean, who wouldn't love pink snow?

Well, this was my quick, catch-up version of my reviews.

I hope to see you all next time!

Ta-ta for now!

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